Open Letter to Congress Regarding the Stimulus Bill

ARRA News Service: Have you had enough of the stimulus scam. Below is a satirical open letter written by Laura Singleton. We wanted to help make sure her letter arrived. You can also help by sending Monopoly Money to DC, so that our "esteemed leaders" can fool around with it instead of OUR hard-earned money. She has asked if you'd send some too.

Here's what to do: send your elected officials monopoly money. How? Anyway possible: Email or Fax the image I've posted in my pics on this site. Put the image on your blogs. Mail Monopoly money overnight. Drop some off at their offices in your state or in DC. Blog about the waste, the pork, the delay & reference the Monopoly Money. Send out press releases, whatever. Flood their offices with the stuff. Maybe, just maybe, they'll get it then. Remember, the final vote is likely to happen Monday or Tuesday, so we don't have a lot of time. One voice is a dissenter. One million is a democracy.

Dear Esteemed Politicians,

I know many of you are new, and that the experience in our nation's capital can be both heady and confusing. Therefore, I'm writing to remind you that the Monopoly Money is the stuff that is pastel. Apparently, some (a "pared-down" $780,000,000,000.00 at last count) of the citizens' real money has slipped into your wild game. Normally I wouldn't be so rude to point out this slight and obviously unintentional mistake. However (dear me, I'm blushing), it seems that our children and grandchildren will be responsible for this debt so you can buy:

$99,600 worth of doorbells in Laurel, MS (net jobs produced: 2)
$6M to convert hybrids to electric cars in Boulder (net jobs produced: 0)
$650M more for Digital TV coupons (net jobs produced: 0)
$70M in smoking cessation programs (net jobs produced: ?)
$500K for a dog park in Chula Vista, CA (net jobs produced: 0)
$600M for the Heritage Trail in Natchez, MS (net jobs produced: 65)
$1.5M for a Prostitute Shelter in Dayton (net jobs produced: 0)
$500M for Solar Water Heaters in Puerto Rico ((net jobs produced: 14)
and--(this one deserves an award for "stupid positions have consequences" posterchild)--$400M for testing and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases.

Now, I know that you know best, and I'm certain that this is all a misunderstanding. How could you know that the water company turned off service to somebody in our upper middle-class subdivision a couple of days ago? Or that there's a foreclosure sign a few houses away? My 70-year old parents came out of retirement to do substitute teaching after their life savings tanked. My brother's business deal fell through because of the economy & he's going to lose everything. But obviously no one told you that businesses here are going belly up and people are losing jobs. However, if it wouldn't interrupt your game too long, perhaps you could talk to any of these people--or me, for that matter--and find we'd actually rather have the money to get back on his feet than to pay to test someone who didn't abstain for an STD.

I know that Washington, DC is far, far away from here, but I would be more than willing to bring you additional Monopoly Money for you to play with in exchange for the real money, which real people could use for real needs.

Sincerely,
Laura Singleton